The Journey Continues

Yes, yes, my journey of life goes on.  Cue the wind chimes and pan flutes.

Life has settled down in some ways, our health concerns are being managed, and we seem to be happy!  My son has gone sports crazy; ball hockey, ice hockey and soccer - not to mention a stint in wrestling.  My daughter is a bit of a hot mess, but she's making good choices and doesn't seem to be freaking out about life too often.

I'm hit and miss.  I don't nap everyday, but I have been in my jammies by 3pm twice this week.  I'm still volunteering a lot, next week I get to go to a "strings" camp!  My kids aren't even going, and my husband thinks I'm crazy to go, but it's 2 days, they feed me and I get to listen to cello's and violin's for 2 days!  It's like a mini vacation just for me.

I'm still working on myself, trying to figure out if I am a total bitch, or if I am justified in my anger issues.  I mostly just get angry when my loved ones are treated badly, but I tend to hold onto things for a really long time.  I'm pretty pissed about certain things that happened a year and a half ago, and I can't seem to shake it. Every time family "expectations" come up, I feel really resentful.  I know I'm being vague, but I don't like to openly air my dirty laundry!  I've always been pretty passive/aggressive, and confronting the problem, especially after this amount of time, seems a bit redundant.  The problem is one that has been around for all time, and being honest won't change that.  So how do I let it go, or confront it?

Yes, that's my issue right now.  Other than that, I can't complain, things are good.  I don't know how other people get through the day, it's a struggle most days for me. I suffer with being unfulfilled, but I also suffer from being exhausted all the time.  I dream of being awake and ambitious, I dream of wanting to do stuff and wanting to want to do stuff.  But, like I said, life is pretty good.  I wrote this, I volunteered already today, and I'm still in jeans, so it's a good day.  If I decide to take a nap now, so be it.