Why my kids are better behaved than yours

I am not saying that my kids are the best in the world, but they are pretty great kids. Want to know my secret?....Just buy my book for $29.95.....just kidding!

My kids are awesome because I am very strict, but still fun. I tell them to do stuff and they just do it. Ok, ok, my secret is the punishment. Every parent has their own forms of punishment, but my form is the miracle cure that stopped my kids from making me mad and not doing what they are supposed to be doing. It may not work for you - you can try it though. Now if it doesn't work, try your own form. I might have written about this before, but it's worth mentioning again.

When my kids misbehave, they get one warning. After the warning comes a 2 minute foot rub for me! If they are still being bad, the time of the foot rub increases! Aren't I a friggin genius?? This punishment works so well because it benefits me, so you know I'll follow through, and my kids HATE it! Let's face it, my feet probably stink. I don't smell them often, but I assume they do. They are stuck in shoes and socks all day long and my feet are really sweaty! My husband rubs them during the "foot rubbing shows", you know, the war shows, documentaries (that I actually end up watching, but I'll never tell him that) and plane crash shows like Mayday, and he has to take breaks when my feet are just too sweaty. I know, I'm a total dream wife!

This works for me - I hope it helps you find a suitable punishment for your kids. It could be a back rub, cleaning the toilets, picking up dog poop. It has to be something that they hate and that benefits you so you'll follow through with it. Consistency is key. My only problem now is that my kids are so good, I never get the foot rub. I did tell them today that if I had to tell them to do their chores twice, that was an automatic foot rub. Yay me!

Getting my shit together

This is my official announcement that 2012 will be the year I get my shit together. This means no more napping, unless I simply cannot go on another second without a quick nap, cleaning the house on a regular basis, every 2 weeks is regular...right? I will continue to work on my blog, my photography, revamping the house, acquiring knowledge, making the kids happy, making the husband happy, working out, getting better at soccer, getting my feet fixed, and being a well rounded person.

It seems like a big list - but it's totally doable. Most of that stuff I do already, just not all the time. I discovered that I actually like going to soccer practice, sure my feet hurt, but it's nice to get better at my mad soccer skills and bond with the girls. It's not as fun as a game, but more fun that I thought it was going to be!

I work on my blog all the time, this way I can complain about anything I want and you choose if you read it or not. Besides, I just love to share my opinion with others. Especially when my opinion is that someone, other than me, is a jackass! You already know that I'm a jackass, but a lovely one!

I have been taking my camera everywhere with me. I found that I am so mad when I see something that I'd love to photograph and I don't have my camera. I took a great shot of my nephew at my Grandma's funeral. His Mom will be so pleased when she sees it. I also just looked over my November shots and I have a good few that I can use. I still haven't even looked at watermarking my pics on the Mac, but I am sure it can't be that hard. (I love my Mac and I find it works very well for me!)

The kids think I am awesome, so I guess I just have to keep doing what I am doing there. One of my daughter's classmates waved to me today, I was in the car, she was in the backseat and he couldn't see her. She was a bit mad. She asked how he could possibly know me, I gently reminded her that I go on every field trip they have and I am at the school ALL THE TIME! The kid has probably seen me at least 50 times! I am very active with my kids schooling, it makes me feel good and the kids still love to see me there. Volunteer - it's worth it! (just a little plug there for volunteering, not enough people do it and it is really a lot of fun)

My husband also still likes me, so I can keep doing what I am doing there too. I always try to do what I can for him to make sure he knows that I care. I also got him a Christmas present that he will LOVE! I try not to yell at him, come to think of it, we barely fight anymore. I'd say we've fought enough for 3 marriages and now we are in the plateau phase. He thought that was bad, but I explained to him that we are good to each other, we are happy and that is a great place to plateau. Of course any gesture above that is welcome, like a "will you remarry me" proposal. I really just want to wear my wedding gown again, or go to Vegas!

So far I am doing really well with most of that stuff. The key, I think, is to cut back the napping, and then I'll get a lot more done. But I am working on it. I am going to acupuncture to help, and I just have to tell myself that I can wait until bedtime. What's your addiction? Mine is sleeping, ice cream and diet Pepsi - you wanna make something of it?

So that's it - 2012 is the year of getting the shit together. You can join me if you want. I think that I get better every year and I hope that this next year is even better. I have a great life and I just have to remember to remember that! If I can just keep on top of all the things I am doing and the things I want to do, maybe I'll come back as a hot, nice, rich girl in my next life!

I can't be nice anymore

I just read an article in this month's Cosmo, called Stop being so Damn Polite by Mika Brzezinski. It's all about the difference between being liked and being respected. A quote from it "Women try hard not to seem bitchy by being too agreeable". It's true. To be completely honest, most times, you should hear the stuff that I am thinking in my head when talking to people. Most times, it's not very nice.

I am a take charge kind of girl, when I know what I want, I go out and get it. When I don't know what I want, or have no opinion, it's fine, you can have your way instead. No big deal. I am thinking that I need to take a step back into my bitchy ways. When I was a teenager, I was a bit of bitch, but looking back, maybe I was aware of what I wanted and didn't let anyone get in my way. Why is that so bitchy?

A few years ago I had a situation that was out of my control, and once I was back from being comatose, I took charge again.....but maybe too much. People let me get away with saying ANYTHING I wanted, because I had been traumatized and was trying to heal. I took it too far. I became a bit of an asshole. Then I started to hold my tongue. Not all the time, but I certainly didn't say a lot in fear of hurting people's feelings. I think I know what middle ground is now and I think I will live there. I went out for lunch with the girls the other day, and every time I thought something that was not so nice, whatever I was thinking came out of another girls mouth. I really thought about that. Why didn't I just say what I was thinking? Maybe I was scared of what they would think of me. I do like them and didn't want anyone to be mad. But they weren't mad at the other girl. So that, coupled with the Cosmo article made me realize, I have to get a bit of the bitch back. I am tired of people being stupid and saying stupid things to me and me holding my tongue.

I can't go back and say, "Hey, you remember when you said this....?" so I will post those grievances here and move forward with saying something next time. Here goes...

...if you need to find an address or telephone number, look it up! I am not your Internet, nor am I your phone book. I am not your driver or your bank. I am also not your therapist....especially if you never listen to me anyway!

...Don't tell me that your kid goes to Catholic school because the GPA is higher. That is not a bad reason at all, but when you and your husband are atheist's and you go around blaspheming at the school yard, it is not ok. I WILL say something next time. DO NOT send your kid to my Catholic school and then dis the school and God. If you don't like the religious aspect of the school GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!!!! Be at the school and don't talk shit about it or leave.

..I am not ok with being in your life if it's just convenient to you. I bent over backwards for you and now you can't bother to call me because you are busy? Well listen here - we are ALL busy. You make time for what is important. Now I know that I am not important to you. I will never change my plans for you again. I will never let you take advantage of me again.

....When I email you and tell you things, especially bad things that have happened, I don't need to hear your bad things. I just wanted to tell you and have an ear for a minute. You don't always have to be more important.

....I don't need you advice on what I am good at, nor do I need your praise when you think it will "make me feel better". I know when praise is deserved. I don't need your false compliments, I like me, I don't care if you do. And no, I didn't lose weight ok? My life does not revolve like that.

Whew...that felt good! Just so you know, I am good, I'm not mad or anything, I am just tired of people being stupid assholes. I have shit going on in my life too, and I make do just fine. I take charge and do something about it. So that's that. I am back and I am never going to stifle myself again. ( Ok, I know I will, but only so that I don't hurt people or say something just to be an asshole. I will only say something if it's justified. And my mother in law is allowed to say anything she wants, and I will always let it slide from now on. I've learned that I can count on her and I will never be mean to her again simply out of respect.) Hey Tricia, just so you know, I really am good. I took your advice, and I appreciate you saying something even though it might have felt a bit awkward for you to say something. So you don't have to worry, I am so good. It feels awesome to feel this way - back in control. I am not going to be a bitch, I am just not going to take shit anymore.

Classic Grandma humour

My Grandma had a lot of really good jokes that were borderline dirty. Here's one of our favorites...

Q -Have you ever smelled moth balls?

A -Yes

Punch line - Well how did you get their little legs apart?

Last week was the worst week I've had in years!

Last week was really bad, it started out on Sunday night when I came home after my soccer game. That part was great, we won 4-2 and I played fairly well. I didn't get a goal, but I have all season for that. My husband wanted to come with me, so my daughter babysat.

We got home to both kids still up and my son leaning over a garbage can. We weren't home for 5 minutes when my son started barfing. Great. He was sick all night, every 2 hours. The next day, he barfed some more but by 11am had finally stopped. We took a 2 hour nap and he was almost all better. I had an appointment so my Mother in Law came over to watch my son. The next few days were very tiring, I tried to get the laundry done, clean the house and all that, but it never happened. I was so tired! Wednesday night my Grandmother passed away. Thursday was my husband's birthday, we went to the Southland leisure Center and it was a lot of fun. They had a "wipeout" style obstacle course in the water. I failed miserably, but still tried it at least a dozen times! Friday, my daughter didn't feel well but went to school anyway. Of course she came home at 10am and I had to cancel my appointment for my feet so I could stay with her.

Saturday I slept in as late as I could because I didn't feel well! That afternoon we went to my parents house. I felt better, and the weekend wasn't so bad. We reminisced about Grandma, her first husband, my Grandfather that I never met and her second husband, the only Grandfather I ever knew. It was a bit tough, but good. Monday was the funeral.

I have no intentions of having another week like that anytime soon. I am TRYING to clean the house still, my son has already called an asked to come home from school. I hate to say no that he can't come home, but I don't really believe that he is that sick. He has a cough and he says his back hurts, but he has been trying to stay home a lot lately. I know that I did that a lot when I was a kid and I guilted my Mom a lot. So much in fact, that she sent me to school when I was really sick, I had to have an emergency appendectomy that night, and I made her pay for that. Sorry Mom! What can you do? You can't let them stay home all the time, and you never know when they are really sick!

So that was my week. This week is short now due to being away for Monday. I feel like I will never catch up! I bought some chairs for the room in the basement. It's either going to be my "office" or I might just call it the "situation room".(It just sounds funny.) That room is painted and ready to use, but I can't seem to find the time to get my ass down there! I hope that one day I can just be caught up and live like a normal person! Until then, I will just plug away and nap when it gets to be too much!

Wish me luck....

Grandparents

Last night I lost my Grandma. This was expected and she was ill for some time. I knew that this time was coming and I didn't think that it would make me hurt as much as it did. Losing her forever made me think so much about all the things that she used to do for me.

Whenever I had an issue and I had to "run away from home", I always went straight to her house. She always had raspberry juice and a head of lettuce waiting for me. That and a big hug. She was always sweet to me and made me feel so loved. I have missed her for a very long time. She had Alzheimer's and had forgotten me quite some time ago. But that didn't mean that I forgot about her. She was a lovely woman, sweet, caring and kind. She always had something waiting for us grand kids when we came to visit. The paper dolls, Woman's World that she had already read and we could cut out stuff from it. She let me take naps on her couch and pick raspberries in her yard. She called me her sausage bean and made the littlest things fun. She had A&W baby mugs that we would drink from. Anyone that knew her, loved her.

I loved going out with her because everyone that knew her treated me so nicely. They gave me treats simply because I was Vi's grand daughter. She was very well known in our town, she worked at A&W and the drugstore and seemed to know everyone where ever she went.

She told us crazy stories about when Uncle Roger and Uncle Dennis painted the chicken's green. She told me about how I was like a cat because of my green eyes. She loved me unconditionally and I miss her.

Losing her reminded me that I have now lost all of my grandparents and what a lonely place the world is without grandparents. They are like parents that give you chocolate for breakfast and let you do crazy things that your parents won't. They don't care about your grades, how messy your room is, or who you are hanging out with. They just care about you and want to hold you and tell you that they love you.

I really didn't think that her death would be so gut wrenching for me. I knew it was coming, I thought I had prepared myself, but I can't stop crying as I write this.

I love you Grandma. You will always be remembered by me. You will always be missed and loved. Every time I smell moth balls, I will be reminded of you and I will take that moment to remember you and how much you loved me.

Chaos, chaos, chaos, soccer.

The other night I had a bit of a breakdown, everything just accumulated and had a bit of a cussing session. It seems I was a tad bit overwhelmed. Each night I tuck in my kids, they have such a hard time letting me go. I love to snuggle with them and talk, but I also have crap to do and a husband that I'd like to spend some alone time with.

My son didn't want to let me go. He just wanted to talk and snuggle, but then he told me that he thought my daughter got so much more time with me, which totally isn't true, and that he never gets enough time with me. I am ALWAYS here. I don't go out at night without them very often, I am always here after school, in the evenings, I am just always here. I am here by choice, I love my kids and I am always with them because I love to be. Maybe he was having an off night, but I was a bit upset that he felt he needed more.

Then I went to see my daughter, and I apologise for telling everyone this, but she had her period and she was uber bitchy. Then she was crying and upset that her hair was boring and she wanted something different, but everyone else's hair is boring too. How do you respond to that? I offered to cut her hair into a mohawk and she was not impressed. She didn't even laugh! I told her that because of her age and the fact that she had her period, now was not the right time to be making a decision about her hair because she would end up regretting it. Then she said that she wanted bangs! I hate bangs. Not on everyone - but certainly on me. I can't stand to have hair touching my face. But for my sweet daughter, with naturally curly hair that makes her crazy so much that she pins her hair back at night, she just cannot have bangs! I am not going to listen to how much she hates her bangs because they are poofy and stick out! She had to grow out her side bang because of the curl, and she wants bangs? No way. As a good parent, you have to make those tough decisions for your kids.

So after all that, I went downstairs and swore a blue streak at my husband. He was very sweet and sympathetic. I think I just needed to get it out. I did feel a whole lot better after swearing and crying a bit.

I have increased my antidepressant dosage, I think you can see why! So the whole family was in emotional chaos. Luckily I had my first indoor soccer game of the season last night and was able to get out some pent up frustrations. I needed that! I played fairly well and we won the game! I can barely walk today - my foot is really sore and my calf is tight, but it'll pass. I went for my first session of acupuncture today and I hope that will help. The doctor even said that I have awesome calves! Soccer calves baby!

Unfortunately my son has been vomiting all night and most of today, so today was a bit of a wash. I think I am on the up though. I'll go to bed really early and start fresh tomorrow.

My little secret

No, I'm not a shoplifter, not a closet alcoholic, not a drug user...although I do really like Advil Nighttime - it's a pain reliever with a sleep aid. I call it a godsend some nights. No, my little secret is that I am a napper. It doesn't seem like a big secret, but I tell you, it's getting out of control.

I took the kids to school the other day, went to Walmart and Sobeys, came home, put all the groceries away and then I went back to bed. For the rest of the day. I slept through lunch, and anyone that knows me, knows I don't miss meals! That night I went to bed at 10pm, fell asleep right away and slept all night. I am just so tired. I don't really know what to do about it.

I told some friends this yesterday and they said it wasn't a big deal, everyone needs extra sleep sometimes. But really, this has gotten bad. There are some days that I just give up, the day gets to be too much and I take a nap. But then other days, I am doing stuff, I am happy and excited about my day, and I still can't make it through. Some days I know that I have 20 minutes before I have to go get the kids, so if I am out, I will come home, park the car in the garage (shut of the engine, I'm not suicidal) close the garage door, set my phone alarm and sleep in the car. Sad isn't it. It was after I told my friends this little tidbit that they agreed, that was a bit extreme.

So what do I do? I've tried vitamin D, multi vitamins, getting lots of sleep, I've even tried those energy shot drinks. The drinks, by the way, taste like thick cough syrup and they don't even work. Although I could probably be on a straight caffeine drip and still be tired. I am going for acupuncture next week, so fingers crossed on that one. I just wish I knew what to do. I've tried exercise, and I do that very regularly, but it only energizes me for a little while, and then I really need a nap!

Everyone always says that I am always so busy, but I have to be. If I didn't keep myself busy, I'd be asleep. So that's it, my secret is out. I am a closet napper. I don't want to sleep through life, I have to find a way to be awake, stay awake and feel rested. I don't think I've ever gotten up in the morning and felt refreshed. I just feel a little less desperate for sleep.

My feet are shrinking???

When I was 21, I bought a pair of shoes that I very clearly remember. They were a cute navy sandal with white stitching. I also remember very clearly that they were a size 7 1/2. I was pretty broke at the time, so they were quite the purchase for me. I had to give them away about 12 years ago when my feet grew (due to pregnancy) from that cute and almost dainty 7 1/2 to a large and cumbersome size 9!

I have been a size 9, or 8 1/2 if they are a wide shoe, for 12 years. I learned to deal with it. Just recently, all of a sudden, my feet started to shrink! Last season, I bought a pair of indoor soccer shoes and they were a size 8. I wear my soccer shoes tight, so they tend to be a bit smaller than I normally wear. A couple of weeks ago, we went out to buy the kids new soccer shoes and I saw a pair of cute shoes that I liked. My husband has a bit of a shoe obsession so he had me try them on. The 9 fell off my foot. The 8 1/2 was way too big, so was the 8! I tried on the 7 1/2 and they fit, like a glove. I was shocked! So I bought them.

The other night at soccer practice (which was awesome, I was so excited to play) I wore my indoor shoes, the size 8's. Some of the girls got a bit rough, and since I like to play hard, I did too. I was shoving a girl into the wall land my foot slid a bit. My toes ended up being crunched up in my shoe because they slid forward so much(when I woke up the next morning I had a huge lump on my toe from the crunch!). I took a look at my foot in the shoe and noticed that my toes were nowhere near the end of the shoe. So it looks like I am going to need new indoor shoes. I'll make my husband take me shopping, he'll be thrilled!

My question is, is this normal? I haven't been pregnant in over 8 years and I thought that my feet had grown and become that size for good. Why the heck are they shrinking now? Is it due to getting older? Getting more exercise? Maybe because I have so many foot issues and my feet are just collapsing? I really don't get it. Please don't think that I am complaining! I get to buy ALL NEW SHOES!!!!! What girl wouldn't be happy. Oh, and husband's with shoe obsessions! The good news is that my awesome boots that were kind of expensive still fit really well. I guess I've got some shopping to do!