The depression fog has just lifted! Yay!
I am super tired right now, but in the giddy overtired, I'm talking crazy, kind of way. But the little fog I have been in seems to be clearing. I got up this morning and everything just seemed ok again.
I don't know if it was sadness about losing the kids to school, or what, but I was not feeling all that great the last week or so. I don't know why I'd be sad about the kids, they are so noisy, and they fight, and they always want me to feed them! But they are super cute and snugly, and they have fun stories. You can see how I might be torn about losing them for the school day.
I've got lots done already today - I took a nice walk, had some good conversation, made a bunch of appointments...by calling people on the phone! I also called the pharmacy and spoke to a real person to get my refills, I spoke to yet another person with the police for them to send out a cruiser to patrol the maniacs that drive through our school zone area. Yup, I used the phone several times.
I have a few more calls to make, a bunch of stuff to do on the computer - reminding myself the whole time to watch my posture so as not to get another headache. Then I will treat myself to a little "Orange is the new Black" for lunch! The only trouble is, I am on the last episode and I heard the new ones won't be out until 2014!!!! What the heck am I going to watch for fun?
Things are looking good, life is good, I'm happy, healthy and.....what's another h word I can use? (Get your mind out of the gutter, I just thought that one too though.) Hopeful? Holiday bound? I wish. HOME, that one works. Done.
I must finish all my crap so I can deserve my show - delayed gratification and all that.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Oi, blah, pffft and ok
Yes I know, random title.
That's kind of how I feel today. I had a game last night, we won, it was awesome. But I felt like I played like crap! Oh well. Had a crappy sleep last night, went for a nice walk this morning with friends and then went to buy more milk. Then I looked in the mirror, and I looked like I had gone feral. Not a good look for me. My hair was a bit wild and my eyes were a bit glassy. But I remembered to get milk and even gas. Yay.
I came home and did a few odd bits of things, cleaned the kitchen a bit, disposed of a few mice caught in the garden, sent some emails.
Then I actually answered the phone....and it was an unknown name! Let that sink in ................
...................................and then I spoke to a person for over 10 minutes! Need more time to be astonished?
Anyway...a parent new to our school called me to ask a few questions, and I think I was actually helpful. Her kid was taken out of the original class he was placed in, and was really upset about it. I told her who to talk to, to see if they can put him back in the original class. I really hope they can, when a kid clicks with a teacher it really makes a difference to their school year. Her child is a bit, for lack of a better word, sensitive. I don't know him, but that's what word she finally used. I totally get it. My son is the same way. Not sensitive, like he will cry all the time or is fragile, he just needs to be talked to a certain way, or explained things a certain way. We all do have our own ways, he is just a very gentle soul and will become a great person, a great man, if we can keep him gentle. There aren't a lot of people like him out there, and I really want him to be that sweet person all his life.
That made me feel pretty good about myself, kind of like I am conquering my fears a little bit. It's not easy being social!
I've had a trying few days, I wanted this school year to be less crazy than last year. I want to be on time for school, I don't want to yell at the kids at bed time and in the morning! Last night I came home, after being gone for 4 hours, my son's chores had been done, but he hadn't showered or did his 30 minutes of reading. I had to get firm. I told him it wasn't my responsibility to make sure that stuff got done. He has to be more responsible for those things now. He's 10! Not 3. He told me that I should let him stay up later so he could finish reading. I held my ground and said no, it wasn't my problem, he could have done that while I was at soccer. So he was mad, he wouldn't kiss me and he fell asleep. Morning comes, he got up, took a shower and read while he ate his breakfast, and set a timer to make sure he got the full time in! That is a real Yay!
My daughter also hadn't showered, was still "doing her homework", and didn't do the dishes like I had asked her to. She said she wasn't sure if I wanted them done! I told her, that if there was any question about that, to just do it and assume I wanted them done.
They really need to be more responsible, and that means that I have to step back, and be consistent. I always talk about that, and then I let things slide, and they take advantage.
I am trying really hard to keep on top of things. I found that I was so behind on so many things last school year, that I just stopped doing things when they piled up. Not anymore! I have returned a bunch of emails already, that I normally would just worry about. I am going to make sure that I have my priorities and stand my ground, say no every once in a while, and take more real time for me. Not shopping time!
I will just remind myself of that as often as possible, and just do stuff to get it off my plate. As I say that, the office around me is in shambles, and I will try to pick out the important stuff, do it, and not worry about the rest. Ahh, September. Always a fresh start!
That's kind of how I feel today. I had a game last night, we won, it was awesome. But I felt like I played like crap! Oh well. Had a crappy sleep last night, went for a nice walk this morning with friends and then went to buy more milk. Then I looked in the mirror, and I looked like I had gone feral. Not a good look for me. My hair was a bit wild and my eyes were a bit glassy. But I remembered to get milk and even gas. Yay.
I came home and did a few odd bits of things, cleaned the kitchen a bit, disposed of a few mice caught in the garden, sent some emails.
Then I actually answered the phone....and it was an unknown name! Let that sink in ................
...................................and then I spoke to a person for over 10 minutes! Need more time to be astonished?
Anyway...a parent new to our school called me to ask a few questions, and I think I was actually helpful. Her kid was taken out of the original class he was placed in, and was really upset about it. I told her who to talk to, to see if they can put him back in the original class. I really hope they can, when a kid clicks with a teacher it really makes a difference to their school year. Her child is a bit, for lack of a better word, sensitive. I don't know him, but that's what word she finally used. I totally get it. My son is the same way. Not sensitive, like he will cry all the time or is fragile, he just needs to be talked to a certain way, or explained things a certain way. We all do have our own ways, he is just a very gentle soul and will become a great person, a great man, if we can keep him gentle. There aren't a lot of people like him out there, and I really want him to be that sweet person all his life.
That made me feel pretty good about myself, kind of like I am conquering my fears a little bit. It's not easy being social!
I've had a trying few days, I wanted this school year to be less crazy than last year. I want to be on time for school, I don't want to yell at the kids at bed time and in the morning! Last night I came home, after being gone for 4 hours, my son's chores had been done, but he hadn't showered or did his 30 minutes of reading. I had to get firm. I told him it wasn't my responsibility to make sure that stuff got done. He has to be more responsible for those things now. He's 10! Not 3. He told me that I should let him stay up later so he could finish reading. I held my ground and said no, it wasn't my problem, he could have done that while I was at soccer. So he was mad, he wouldn't kiss me and he fell asleep. Morning comes, he got up, took a shower and read while he ate his breakfast, and set a timer to make sure he got the full time in! That is a real Yay!
My daughter also hadn't showered, was still "doing her homework", and didn't do the dishes like I had asked her to. She said she wasn't sure if I wanted them done! I told her, that if there was any question about that, to just do it and assume I wanted them done.
They really need to be more responsible, and that means that I have to step back, and be consistent. I always talk about that, and then I let things slide, and they take advantage.
I am trying really hard to keep on top of things. I found that I was so behind on so many things last school year, that I just stopped doing things when they piled up. Not anymore! I have returned a bunch of emails already, that I normally would just worry about. I am going to make sure that I have my priorities and stand my ground, say no every once in a while, and take more real time for me. Not shopping time!
I will just remind myself of that as often as possible, and just do stuff to get it off my plate. As I say that, the office around me is in shambles, and I will try to pick out the important stuff, do it, and not worry about the rest. Ahh, September. Always a fresh start!
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Back to school
The kids went back to school today, grade 9 and 5, we got great teachers and I am excited for them.
As I walk away from the school, I feel a little bit lost. Like 2 pieces of me are missing. I know that I can run off and do whatever I want to do - like get bread, go to Walmart, get some groceries.....wait a second. That's NOT what I want to be doing! But it needs to be done, and it is always so much easier and quicker to do those things without the kids in tow, no matter how old they are!
But the first few days back at school, there is a huge sense of something missing. Yes, they drive me crazy with all the talking and the fighting, the singing at my face, the weird noises they make because they think they are funny, the quotes from the Internet that never seem to end. I walk away from the school alone, and I miss them. I know it's silly, but I do. I just want them back for a minute so I can hug them and kiss them and just be with them.
After a few days I will get used to the house being quiet for a few hours, I will get to drive and listen to the music I like, as loud as I like, without a yell to turn it down! Or change the song! I enjoy being alone, I enjoy the time off to do my stuff, and all that other crap that I have to do. I will be so happy in a few days...but for right now, I am a little bit sad and a little bit missing the noise.
Don't worry, I will get over it, and I will love it and look forward to it. Look at all the things I will get to do! I can watch an episode of Orange is the new Black (LOVE this show) without having to pause when the kids pass through. That show is NOT appropriate for kids at all! I could watch 2 episodes and eat ice cream and do nothing all day long! I won't. But one day I really should!
I can paint my bedroom! The paint was bought maybe a year ago and I didn't get a chance to do it yet. I can read a book, have a quiet lunch, go for a run, go bra shopping! But today, I will just do the errands, maybe buy the kids some first day back cupcakes. I will think about them all day and I will hug them and kiss them after school until they beg me to stop. And then tonight, they will drive me crazy with the noise, and I will look ahead to tomorrow.
September always feels like a new start for me, and this year is no different. But I think I will put that new start off until tomorrow, or next week. Right now I will just miss my kids and count the minutes until I get to see them again!
As I walk away from the school, I feel a little bit lost. Like 2 pieces of me are missing. I know that I can run off and do whatever I want to do - like get bread, go to Walmart, get some groceries.....wait a second. That's NOT what I want to be doing! But it needs to be done, and it is always so much easier and quicker to do those things without the kids in tow, no matter how old they are!
But the first few days back at school, there is a huge sense of something missing. Yes, they drive me crazy with all the talking and the fighting, the singing at my face, the weird noises they make because they think they are funny, the quotes from the Internet that never seem to end. I walk away from the school alone, and I miss them. I know it's silly, but I do. I just want them back for a minute so I can hug them and kiss them and just be with them.
After a few days I will get used to the house being quiet for a few hours, I will get to drive and listen to the music I like, as loud as I like, without a yell to turn it down! Or change the song! I enjoy being alone, I enjoy the time off to do my stuff, and all that other crap that I have to do. I will be so happy in a few days...but for right now, I am a little bit sad and a little bit missing the noise.
Don't worry, I will get over it, and I will love it and look forward to it. Look at all the things I will get to do! I can watch an episode of Orange is the new Black (LOVE this show) without having to pause when the kids pass through. That show is NOT appropriate for kids at all! I could watch 2 episodes and eat ice cream and do nothing all day long! I won't. But one day I really should!
I can paint my bedroom! The paint was bought maybe a year ago and I didn't get a chance to do it yet. I can read a book, have a quiet lunch, go for a run, go bra shopping! But today, I will just do the errands, maybe buy the kids some first day back cupcakes. I will think about them all day and I will hug them and kiss them after school until they beg me to stop. And then tonight, they will drive me crazy with the noise, and I will look ahead to tomorrow.
September always feels like a new start for me, and this year is no different. But I think I will put that new start off until tomorrow, or next week. Right now I will just miss my kids and count the minutes until I get to see them again!
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