I can see the end of the long road

After the past year, the mass amounts of doctor visits, I feel like I can finally see the end.  It's not soon mind you, but it is there, in the somewhat near future.

Over the past few months, I have seen at least one doctor every week, some weeks up to 3.  It makes for a very busy life.  I always joke that I have a part time stretching my calves(the feet issue) and now it feels like I also have a part time visiting doctors.  What a great job, or hobby to have.  Although I always learn something from every visit, I am very happy to see the end of the constant visits.  I am starting to feel like a hypochondriac!  I should get a frequent visitor card and have a chance to win prizes.  But then everyone would want to go to the doctor.  And some people should....Ok, I have to stop this now before I show you that place in my brain that takes some really weird tangents.  You wouldn't believe the things that I can come up with and connect in my head.

I don't have to see the sleep doctor until April as the medication that I am currently on is working really well.  I feel pretty good!  I have to see the oral appliance doctor next week, but even that is going well.  One night I thought it might be nice to take a break from wearing the appliance over night - I didn't sleep well at all!  I don't actually mind the appliance, it's just not the most attractive thing ever, and it makes my dry mouth even worse.  I saw my family doctor today and he is good with everything that we've got going on.  The anti-depressants....or chemical stabilizers as I like to call them, are working well.  (except for yesterday.  I damn near had a panic attack just thinking about using the phone...but that's another story)  My feet feel like they are on the mend, my jaw is just about back into place, my hip feels good after I get a few pops and clicks out.  Oh good lord, I really am a mess aren't I?!

Life is looking good though.  I feel like I am learning things about myself, I feel like I am growing as a person, and I find that I am learning how to self heal.  You know, taking the right medications and vitamins, stretching, positive affirmations and all that.  I really do have a great life.

I think I'd like to go back to the hypnotherapist and learn more about myself and how to improve myself.  Always learning and growing as a person, that is my goal.  Once you stop, I think you start to die. (pleasant aren't I)  But really, if you go through life doing the same thing, you never learn anything new.  You never give yourself the chance to see what else you are capable of.  Take soccer, I never thought that I would ever play a sport, much less compete in one.  And here I am, doing that, and getting better all the time!  The other night I played up for the premiere team again.  They are still in their seeding round and were playing against an even higher level team.  I just about threw up a few times in the game, I ran so hard and pushed myself beyond what I thought I was capable of.  And it was awesome!  We lost, but it was still amazing and totally fun!

I wish I could go back in time and give my younger self a shake.  Tell her to start learning now!  Tell her to push herself, do new things, want more from life.  I'm happy that I have done what I have done, but if I had started earlier, I'd be so much further ahead.  But that's ok, I am happy, I am on a good path and I don't see myself slowing down anytime soon.