Thursday, November 8, 2012

So much to do, so little motivation!

I have to admit, I've been getting some stuff done.  Maybe it feels like I'm not because those things I have been getting done have been on my list for a VERY long time!  I called Enmax....2 months after my contract expired.  Ooops.  They didn't care, I pay my bill, they charge me whatever they want.  Now I don't have to call them again for 5 years!  That is my kind of conversation.  Oh good to hear from you, talk to you in 5 years!

I'm not anti social (much), I just find that too many people want my attention far too often.  It's no wonder I hide in my house!

Is that abnormal?  Most people want to be popular, I just want people to leave me alone!  I think I've just gotten into the habit of saying yes...ok, I KNOW I've gotten into the habit of saying yes all the time.  I really need to stop that and remember that my time is very valuable.  It's all I have really.  And I give it away!  Well no more.  I have to remind myself everyday that I can say no, and I have to keep myself calm instead of worrying about who will ask me to do what next.  Read it slowly, I swear that sentence makes sense!

There are a few things that I like to offer myself up for - school stuff, soccer, coffee with people I actually like and want to spend time with.  I've gone to 2 parties in the last 2 months and had a great time, because I actually wanted to be there.  Normally I dread those things.  I drove an hour and a half just to see my sister to go to a craft show.  Totally worth my time!

I played up for the Premier soccer team last night - again, worth it.  We did get our asses handed to us, 8-0, but it wasn't because of me!  The other team is just that good.  I told that team to call on me anytime.  They even thanked me for coming!  I'm sorry, but playing up for a team like that is huge for me.  For them to thank me for being there instead of telling me that I suck - makes me feel pretty damn good!  I was even told I played well!  I scoffed at that, but I was assured that I did well and that I listen. That's a huge pat on the back for me!

I have a huge "to do" list and I guess I am working my way slowly through it.  I think that I might be able to paint my master bedroom finally.  I bought the paint at least 6 months ago!  I had it checked, it's still good to use.  I've been getting rid of crap, I still have a ton of crap to get rid of.  I've gotten rid of a bunch of my clothes because they are WAYYYY too BIG!!!!!  I have organized things and made appointments.  So what if I take a day off here and there, I deserve it!  (if you see my husband, remind him that I do deserve it!)  I shovelled the walk already today too.  I told my husband that with all the shovelling I have to do, there's no way I could ever get a job!  He laughed....

It might sound odd that I have to remind myself of things everyday.....you can say no, you can take a day off, you don't have to do everything all the time.  I guess I just get caught up worrying about everyone else that I forget about what is important to me.  I'm not dumb, I'm just super forgetful.  I'll just have to set up some reminders to myself to remember all that.



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