I thought my head was big before, hitting a loss of 30 pounds yesterday, and my ego is just through the roof! I am 190 lbs, and I hope to break the 180's soon!!!!
I thought that with each pound I lost it would be a lot more exciting though. It's not. Don't get me wrong, I am very happy with my success, but where is my party? Why aren't people celebrating my huge milestones??? Oh yeah, this isn't tv. It's too bad, maybe a few balloons and some party horns might make it seem a bit more of a big deal. Maybe I should video tape the weigh in, or the trying on of all my clothes in my closet that are too big, and make my own soundtrack. Then I can watch it over and over again and really celebrate!
Fine, I'll just go buy myself something pretty, that fits, to celebrate instead!
I did have a bit of a tv moment at one of my games last week. I was in the corner at the opposing net when time stopped. No one moved....it was so quiet...you could hear the clock ticking. As I was standing there with the ball it really was like time stood still and I had a moment of clarity....something I don't get much in a game. It was just me and the ball, and one girl defending me. I thought long and hard and I made my move. I took a fake kick..... the defender ran the other way and I took a shot on net......and totally missed! But it was one hell of a moment in time for me. The girls on the bench were laughing their asses off. They couldn't believe that I had pulled off that move. To be honest, I was a bit of a panicky player before, and for me to make a move like that and have it work, well I had to laugh too! I did the same move against my coach the week before and burnt her - she was shocked! She's been there to watch me play from the start - so it was a bit of a surprise that after only a few seasons, I could burn around her!
It's hard to believe the person I was once has changed into the person I am today. I have my bad days, but for the most part, I am happy, healthy, in love, and so positive about everything. I never would have thought that I could be this person, strong, a leader, an athlete. I had a nurse yesterday accuse me of being perfect! That is not a word that I would use to describe me. She did feel better after she decided that I was probably vitamin D deficient! I most likely am. (Someone should really move me to a warmer climate - I am not meant for this cold. I should be somewhere warm, with my bikini on, running on the beach. Well not at the same time. Me and bikini running.....not yet thanks. I am still trying not to look like a rabid rottweiler when I run with clothes on!) I always wanted to be here, in this state of mind, I just wasn't sure it could happen. I never did want to be an athlete, but now that I am, I wish I would have thought of it sooner!
Yes, I am annoyingly happy. I've heard that only despair and scandal will get anything you post to go viral, so I am not going there anytime soon. But that's ok. I am happy, and I am not going to create shit and drama to get noticed.
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