Can one be mad at their own body?

I have decided that my body is getting in my way. Why can't it just listen and drop the puppy fat?

I was at my game on Monday and I was running so fast, I actually surprised myself! I have gotten way too fast for this body. I wish that I could just shed this extra weight like Forrest Gump sheds his legs braces, he runs and they just fall off. Then he runs faster and doesn't stop. How fast do I have to run to outrun my fat? I'll just run one day and the fat will slide off my body like lotion in the hot sun! I'll look down, see my sleeker body and just keep on running. Well one must have dreams!

As I continue to track my spark people calories and fitness, I am shocked over and over at the crap I used to eat and I was ok with. Oh look at me, I eat so healthy! Yeah right. I had 2 pieces of pizza for lunch - I did have to carb up last night and today for my game tonight - and my lunch was over 700 calories! Just saying that grosses me out and also makes me want to slap myself for caring. I am conflicted. I WILL NOT be one of those people who talks calories and weight loss all the time, but lets face it, it's time I paid more attention. I just don't have to go around talking incessantly about it.

I like me, but I guess I can still be cool if I weigh less. It's not like I will be skinny, and I can still be a positive role model, I just will be one who is overweight and active - not fat and active. I will never be one of those girls that bases my self esteem on my weight and the way I look in the mirror. I will always just be me, happy with me, and willing to make changes that need to happen.