Merry Christmas!!!

It's December 24 and I am ready for Christmas! Thank goodness I am. I did forget about 2 presents, luckily I remembered them this morning, so they too have been wrapped and put under the tree. The Christmas cookies have been baked and decorated, the gifts have been wrapped, the supper is being made and not by me! The house is clean, the tree is lit and I am ready to relax and enjoy the festivities.

I am in a good place right now. I have no anger or dislike for anyone, I am seeing all of my family in the next few days and I am looking forward to it. No really! I am! I feel good, I feel happy and I feel ready to just be happy and calm. If I cannot be calm, I have a bottle of wine on standby...ok, 2 bottles! I don't drink really, but I found one I love, so it's there if I need it.

It has been a lovely day, I haven't left the house, I haven't gotten dressed yet, and I haven't even brushed my teeth! Gross I know, but it'll feel extra nice when I am showered and brushed, dressed and ready to go.

I am not going to let anyone or anything get to me, I am going to enjoy Christmas for what it is to me and that's that. No one can take my beliefs away from me, so it helps to remind myself about that. I am very happy with how I feel, I am with the people I love the most and I will make that be my focus for the next few days. I will be happy - not even fake happy - I will be merry and I will have a great time. This might be the first Christmas ever that I truly feel happy about everything. My life is God's gift to me, and I will not piss it away being miserable. I am so thankful for everything that I have, my beautiful kids, my lovely husband, family, friends and a truly wonderful life!

Merry Christmas to you all - have a great night.

Miracles can happen

It's a Christmas miracle - I am in a good mood! I have a free day today - meaning no appointments for my feet or anything else - and I can get done all the crap that needs to get done. Like the grocery shopping, laundry and cleaning. I almost got into a bad mood after going to Hellmart (Wal-Mart) but luckily a LMFAO was playing when I started the car and that got my mood right back up!

I have a great week planned - I get to miss the kids soccer practice tonight as my husband wants to take them, and I get to bake cookies and put the laundry away. I know that doesn't sound exciting, but it's so nice when the laundry gets put away within a day of when it's done.(another small miracle) I have a few errands and appointments tomorrow, but those errands mean that I am DONE all my Christmas stuff! With the exception of wrapping, but that's fun anyway.

I have a few appointments the rest of the week, but I have a new one for my feet and it looks like it's going to feel really good. I have time to get to the gym, wrap presents, keep the house clean - the week is looking good!

We have only one soccer game this week, my daughter's last one before Christmas break. My son played up for a U12 team last night, he's 8 and plays for U10, and he did a great job! The team won 7-3 and was it ever exciting! It's better than going to professional sports games for me because I get to cheer really loudly. My daughter placed 3rd in her City Wrestling Finals on Friday and I was so proud of her. She is such a strong girl - those boys don't stand a chance if they piss her off!

I am looking forward to Christmas Eve at my in-laws - I really am! It will be a lot of fun, and I am very relaxed about it. I am even looking forward to going to my parents house after Christmas. I made them all presents, and I can't wait to just sit around and visit. After all the drama that has gone on with them, I think we are finally in the clear and I can just relax there too. It really is amazing what a change of attitude, on my part, will do.

Have a great Monday!

Christmas is really about...

dear god,

it's Christmas and i want everyone to know
to spread it around everywhere i go
Christmas isn't about the boxes or bags
it really shouldn't be about all the tags
it's about the night Christ was born
not about the stuffed unicorn
it's about family and love
and god's son, the one from above
the night when Mary gave birth to him
the one that would forgive you when you sin
he would save us all
at Christmas we don't need to go to the mall
this generation we don't celebrate god's son
or when Mary and Joseph had to come
to Bethlehem when they were waiting
when now everyone is hating
we still celebrate the advent season
when no one really knows the reason
it's not about presents or Santa Clause
just take a moment and pause
think about what Christmas is really about,
Family and Love

by Dana (Pam's daughter if you didn't know)

It's almost Christmas

And I am almost ready! My Christmas cards are printing as I write - I know they are late, there's no way that they will get out in time for people to get them before Christmas. But then you can get them after Christmas and it's like a little unexpected surprise! That's my theory for today anyway. At least I did them. Most years I am a bit more on top of that kind of think, but my excuse this year is that I transferred from a PC to a Mac and I had a hard time getting my addresses. It's true! A bad excuse, but true.

I finished up my shopping last night with my husband. I would have been done way sooner, but he thinks that he should get to help pick out presents. I don't disagree, but I don't like to leave it to last minute like this. It's all ok, I will just relax and it will all be ok! I even have presents for my family this year. We don't buy presents, but we are allowed to make some, so I have done just that. They will hopefully be ready for Christmas!

I am feeling very good about the next few days, I am not too busy so I can get all the rest of the stuff done that needs to be done. I feel like a bit of weight has come off my shoulders. It's all stuff that I put off because it's going to take too much time or it's something boring that just has to be done, but when I get those things done, I feel like I've actually accomplished something! It's a good feeling. I have to remind myself that those little annoying things aren't so bad and to just get my butt in gear!

So I'm feeling good, in control, on top of things. Let's just see what happens over the next few days and the things that my husband adds to my list! But for now, I am off to get my hip put back into place. Yes I DO feel like an old lady, thanks for asking! But I did put it out in soccer, so I at least have a good reason. So shower, hip and lunch with the ladies. Then off to the edge of town for my daughter's wrestling City Competition - crazy I know- and then hopefully the rest of the night will be spent relaxing at home with my sweet family. Have a happy Friday!

The reason for the season

My daughter wrote the most beautiful prayer for school, it was so well done, they asked her to read it over the intercom at school tomorrow. It's all about the reason for the season.

I am beginning to enjoy Christmas more now because my family is remembering the reason why we celebrate in the first place. I think that the best celebrations have the best reason's behind them. Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, they are all celebrations about things that are bigger than us as as one person. They are about heritage, God, the past, the future. They are more than just lights and gifts, more than just candy canes and decorations.

I think that any kind of celebration of a higher power - be it God or your heritage- should be celebrated with family and friends, and the remembrance of the why we are celebrating. I would never begrudge anyone their celebration, or make fun of why they celebrate. Why should people do that to me about Christmas? What gets me is the people who celebrate Christmas because they can. They get the decorations, the lights, the food and the presents, but all the while, they make fun of God and the reason why Christmas is even celebrated.

You don't have to believe to celebrate, although I think you should, but please don't make fun of why I celebrate. Christmas is about family, giving, spending time together and loving one another, but it also about God and what he did for us.

I see posts about atheism on face book all the time, and that's your choice not to believe, but why make such a spectacle of it? Why not just leave it alone? I don't go around spouting God's word and prayers all the time. If I don't like something, I just don't really talk about it. I hate liver, I don't post that on face book all the time. Who cares if I hate liver - just me - no one else needs to know about that. You can disagree with what I believe all you want, I am truly ok with that, but don't say it to my face. Just leave it alone. I would never make fun of another religion or some one's beliefs. If you do that, I just think that you feel you have something to prove, and it makes you look like an ass. Those people who talk like assholes about not believing in God - maybe you should give up Christmas to make your own point. It is CHRISTmas after all.

So there's my rant for today. Now I am off on a busy day of shopping and wishing people Merry Christmas and God Blessing everyone!

If I were to go see myself as a teenager

If I were to go back in time and talk to myself as a teenager, I know that I would laugh at me. I wouldn't believe me, no matter what I said to myself.

I've been thinking a lot about my life and how weird it is to think about how I used to be and what I expected my life was going to be like, compared to how I am now, and what my life is really like. As a teenager, I was a bit rebellious, kind of like a night is kind of dark. I never did what I was told, I hated when people told me what to do, I was rude and mean and I had a real problem with authority figures. I was never into sports, I tried to play volleyball in Junior High and that didn't last long. I tried Tae kwon do, but that also didn't last. I never exercised because I wanted to, I did it if I were forced, or I didn't have a ride somewhere. I was sullen, back talked a lot and I was very self conscious.

Move ahead 20 years and I am not at all like that. I do have a problem with people telling me what do to, but I controlled it when I was working, and now that I don't have a proper job, I have no issues with that. I like the police and am not afraid of them - mostly because I don't do anything that would get them involved in my life in a bad way. I exercise all the time and I do it because I love it. I love the way it makes me feel, I love how strong and powerful I feel at the end of a workout or a soccer game. It is also how I relax. When I work out, it's all about me and what I want to do. I am not a wife or mother, I don't think about the kids or the house work, it's just me and my music. I love playing soccer, a team sport that I love everything about. I love the game, I love getting smashed into the boards, I love beating another girl to the ball, I love shoving my way past people. I love the camaraderie of the team. I am also not self conscious anymore. I love me, the way I look, the way I feel most days. I love to dress myself in cute clothes and accessories. I love to look good and know that I look good. I was at the gym yesterday and checked myself out in the mirror. I was wearing track pants and a black t-shirt, and damn, I looked good!

If I could go back and tell my teenage self about how I am now, I'd think I was crazy. No one can change that much! But you can, if I can go from that sullen, rebellious teen, to the law abiding, gym rat that I am today, I know that people do change. I'd go back and tell myself just to see the look on my face!

Maybe if I could go back, I would have had better self esteem earlier, I would have taken better care of myself and I would have been able to forgive myself for all the stupid things I did a bit earlier than I did. But you know what? I can't. And even if I could, I'm not sure I would change a thing. It was hard work getting to where I am today, and I love where I am, what my life is like. I wouldn't change anything for the fear of not having what I have right now. Everything happens for a reason, and I know that I am the person I am today because of all the stupid things I did, and all that I learned from my mistakes.