Back to square one..

I have been flip flopping on the prospect of getting a "something to do". Not a job - those are very inconvenient, and I don't work well with others when those others try to tell me what to do. And since I'd be the new one, they would. And then I'd end up slapping someone and get fired. SO...that left me with something to do that involved just me. I had some great ideas, thanks to a friend. I though about it, I thought a lot and I decided, for now of course, that I don't want that either. I think I just wanted to know that it was OK that I was doing exactly what I was doing. I think about what other people think far to often sometimes. But my "aha" moment came at a very strange place. I was at a drag show, and damn was it fun, when one of the other girls there was asked what she did. And she replied, "I drive my kids around". But the way she said it told me that was exactly what she wanted to be doing right then. Her kids were older, and they still needed her around, and they wanted her around. I have this fantastic opportunity to just be there for my kids and bum around a bit. What they hell am I complaining about? I have never wanted a career, I think I just wanted to be good at something. But I am. I am a good Mom. My kids adore me and they always want me around. So I am going to take what I have, and run with it. I know I have more moments of "what the hell am I doing with my life", but I'm sure I'll get through those too!