The birthday blues....

I was terribly upset and depressed yesterday over the fact that it is my birthday coming up. Contrary to what people might think, I am not upset that I am going to be one year older.

I was upset over the anticipation of disappointment. For years, my birthday was always such a disappointment. I always felt forgotten, and I think I was looking for a bit more attention and fanfare. It's my birthday! The one day of the year that is all mine and I felt that people should just be extra nice to me. Was that too much to ask? Thinking back, I think I expected WAY too much and therefore I got way less that what I was hoping for. Why can't I get a birthday parade?

Now, I think I was depressed because I expect so little. I expect that everyone is going to forget and no one is going to care. Oh whoa is me, I know. But that was yesterday. And what a crappy day that was - I got myself all worked up about it and wallowed in a puddle of self pity.

Luckily, today I woke up with a renewed sense of happiness. It's amazing what a good sleep in, a bit of loud dance music and a quick tidy of the house will do to a mood.(Yes I realize how old that makes me sound. Oh, cleaning makes me happy! No, the cleanliness makes me happy, and the doing it is ok as long as I have music.) So I am feeling much better. The last day of being 35 has been filled with lots of coffee, giggles with the kids, and it's after 3pm and I am still in my pajamas. Not a bad day so far! It will continue with a trek over to the in laws, only made tolerable by my sister in law being there with my sweet niece...and cake that I am bringing, just to make sure that I get good cake. We should be home nice and early, so it should be ok.

Tomorrow will bring a soccer game at an ungodly hour of 8am. I have to get up at 6am just to get there on time! But I assume that I will get a good coffee, even if I have to make it myself. I've already informed my husband that yes, I do need another cake. Cake at his parents house does NOT count. I will also insist of a supper meal that I don't have to make or clean up after. See, I don't ask for much!

So I say, 36? Bring it on. I am finally ready.