The school has finally decided that it is time for me to get my own office! I have been at the school so much lately, 3 full days last week, 2 days this week. When will the madness end? Oh, yeah...June 28. The school has not yet offered to pay me but I do get my own space. Ok, maybe not a "space", but an area where the kids know that I will be, and the teachers too, for when they need me. Maybe area is too grand of a word.....essentially I am getting a corner...... in the hallway......where I can just stand until I am needed. I can just stand there, face to the wall, reading my emails from all the teachers that need my assistance.
Never mind, it's not that good of an offer. I will refuse the hallway corner and just do my own thing until they call, text, email me, or hunt me down in person to do what they need.
I have to admit, I have done some pretty cool things this year with the school. I got to go to Science school for a week with the Grade 3's, a fancy French restaurant with the Grade 7's, I chaperoned a concert and a play, planted flowers and pulled weeds, made clay, took pictures and a whole bunch of other things. That was just the last 2 months, all the other things I have done the rest of the year has been placed some where in my brain that I don't have access to right now.
I am not complaining, I do love to be at the school, with my kids and their friends. They all STILL think I am cool too! Take that dummies from my high school! I am totally cool now! Side story - I was at my husband's soccer game a few weeks ago and he found me after the game surrounded by a bunch of 7-12 year old boys. They thought I was cool too! They all wanted to talk to me, I felt like a celebrity!
I guess now that I am all grown up, coolness takes on a whole new meaning. I do get to lecture all the kids that come my way. I spoke to a whole bunch of the Grade 7's about dating and how unnecessary it is. One of the Grade 7 boys is a big fan of mine, ok more than one, but this one in particular makes my daughter jealous because he'll talk to me and not her! It's not my fault! I command attention!
In this rare minute of calm before the next shit storm happens, I can sit back and be happy about my new found coolness and relish in the fact that finally, finally, the junior high boys like me!
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Friday, June 1, 2012
I have found my place in life
I think I always kind of knew this, but over the last few years, I have really begun to accept that my place in life, is exactly where I am right now.
I don't need to be working, I don't need to be doing anything that I am not already doing or not wanting to do. My place is at home with my kids, where ever my husband needs me, at the school with my kids and other kids, on the soccer field with my team, on the soccer field with my daughter's team, running, being around for my sister and her family, and being with my friends.
I sometimes thought that I needed a better purpose in life, but what better purpose than the one that puts me in a place where I can affect so many people in such a good way? What would a job give me? Nothing that I need. I get plenty of socialization, I don't need the money - what my husband makes is just enough to keep us where we are, and I don't need more that than. A sense of worth? I've got that too. I volunteer so much time at the school and with soccer, I have a huge sense of worth. I feel it every time a kid waves at me at school, I feel it every time one of those kids knows my name and asks me for help, or just talks to me. I feel it every time a kid gets hurt on the field and I am there to pick her up.
I am just so thankful to be where I am. Some days aren't this great, and I think, is this all there is? Laundry, cooking, cleaning. But then I remember what I do on the other days and I remember, my place is here. I can help my friends, I can help the kids, and that makes me feel just great .
I was at a volunteer sign up post yesterday and out of the 400 people that showed up to the BBQ, I got 2 people to sign up and volunteer. I wasn't surprised, but I was still disappointed. But then I thought to myself, that is why I am here. That is where I make the difference. A lot of those parents don't care what their kids are up to at school, but I do. They don't know that their kid had a bad day, but I know, and I was there to try and make it better.
I can't save the world, but I can make a difference. I made a tri fold for the event listing what needs to be done, and why it is important. It hit me, that's what I want to do. It's not just a thing to do right now while I'm not working, it's what I always want to do. I want to be that Mom that everyone knows and talks to. I want to be that Mom that bandages someone else's child's knee. I want to be that Mom that hands out hugs to anyone that needs one. I want to be that Mom that my own kid thinks is amazing. It's what I am good at.
I don't need to be working, I don't need to be doing anything that I am not already doing or not wanting to do. My place is at home with my kids, where ever my husband needs me, at the school with my kids and other kids, on the soccer field with my team, on the soccer field with my daughter's team, running, being around for my sister and her family, and being with my friends.
I sometimes thought that I needed a better purpose in life, but what better purpose than the one that puts me in a place where I can affect so many people in such a good way? What would a job give me? Nothing that I need. I get plenty of socialization, I don't need the money - what my husband makes is just enough to keep us where we are, and I don't need more that than. A sense of worth? I've got that too. I volunteer so much time at the school and with soccer, I have a huge sense of worth. I feel it every time a kid waves at me at school, I feel it every time one of those kids knows my name and asks me for help, or just talks to me. I feel it every time a kid gets hurt on the field and I am there to pick her up.
I am just so thankful to be where I am. Some days aren't this great, and I think, is this all there is? Laundry, cooking, cleaning. But then I remember what I do on the other days and I remember, my place is here. I can help my friends, I can help the kids, and that makes me feel just great .
I was at a volunteer sign up post yesterday and out of the 400 people that showed up to the BBQ, I got 2 people to sign up and volunteer. I wasn't surprised, but I was still disappointed. But then I thought to myself, that is why I am here. That is where I make the difference. A lot of those parents don't care what their kids are up to at school, but I do. They don't know that their kid had a bad day, but I know, and I was there to try and make it better.
I can't save the world, but I can make a difference. I made a tri fold for the event listing what needs to be done, and why it is important. It hit me, that's what I want to do. It's not just a thing to do right now while I'm not working, it's what I always want to do. I want to be that Mom that everyone knows and talks to. I want to be that Mom that bandages someone else's child's knee. I want to be that Mom that hands out hugs to anyone that needs one. I want to be that Mom that my own kid thinks is amazing. It's what I am good at.
Gandhi once said, "The best way to find yourself, is
to lose yourself in the service of others."
That's my plan - and I have found out so much about myself, and I'll always be glad that I am able to do exactly what I am doing.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Adidas miCoach
Last week my husband convinced me to get my own, so I did. I've been running toward a goal at the gym, I got myself able to run just 1 lap, all the way to 25! I decided that after I hit 25, I'd work on my speed. I have to have goals otherwise I am just running in circles. I achieved my first goal of 25 laps last week and I was elated! Who knew I could run that much! At the gym, the track tells you how many laps = how many km. According to that, I assumed I was running 3.2 km at at time. I tried my miCoach for the first time this week, ran my 25 laps and when I got home, I discovered that I had run over 4km!!! Amazing!
My sweet little husband decided that he wanted me to be able to wear it while I play soccer. His cleats have a slot for his miCoach because he bought the ones that are compatible, mine weren't. So he dug a little hole in my insole and sized it for the miCoach. I played on Saturday, came home and synced the miCoach to find that I had run 7km in the game! I was so excited!!! Me, running 7km!! This from the girl who used to not be able run even if someone were chasing her!
That's not me anymore, obviously, but the changes I've made over the last few years amaze me and I am just so proud of myself. Not only have I accomplished a lot, I have PROOF! So if anyone says I should lose weight, I have the proof that I am trying. If another doctor says that I need to change my lifestyle before he even knows me, I can show him my stats and shove them in his face. Ok, I got a little excited there. But I could slap those people that say stuff like that to me. Not only can I challenge them and threaten to kick their ass, I really can kick their ass! Take that stupid people!
Back to the miCoach - it is an addictive little tool. Every time I wear it, I am always thinking about it and how much more can I run, how fast can I run? By the way - at the gym I clocked myself at just over 15km/hr and at my game, I hit 18.68km/hr!!! Now all I can think about it beating that! Myself and I have a really heavy competition on now! It's really exciting to see what my body can do, and then see how I can beat my own times.
I have to take a day off today - I ran 3 days straight and my feet are killing me. But tomorrow, I'd better watch out, I am going to kick my own ass again!
Friday, May 18, 2012
Why do women compare themselves to models in magazines?
I am not gorgeous, I am not thin or beautiful, I do not have long legs, long hair or a flat stomach.
I have a (very) curvy body, (fat) muscular calves that have a hard time finding shin pads to fit. I have a big butt that I am proud of, I am attractive, I have a belly that held 2 children, and some days it looks like one is still in there. I have wiggly arms, wiggly inner thighs and yet, when I look in the mirror, I see a lovely woman.
I am kind and loving, loyal, determined, I work my ass off at the gym, I run my ass off on the soccer field. I have a husband who adores me and 2 amazing kids that think I am the best Mom in the world.
Those models in the magazines should be comparing themselves to me, and maybe they do. What do they have? Yes they are beautiful, but remember, they are people too. Beauty is their job - does it make them happy? Maybe yes, maybe no. They get pimples, they have bad days, they have hard times in relationships.
Those models that you compare yourself to - they are judged every single day about how they look. I don't have to worry about that. Those models have to watch what they eat, worry if they get a pimple, worry if they gain weight, worry about the next model that is just waiting to take their place. I am not envious of them, that can't be easy.
My life - there's no one that can take my place - my kids and husband will attest to that. I don't care if I gain 5 pounds, I'd rather lose 5, but it won't affect my life either way. I get pimples, I have bad hair days, and I just laugh along with the people like me who make fun of me for it.
You can't compare yourself to anyone else. Take the time to see what you have to offer, what your great qualities are. Tell yourself that you are beautiful and wonderful until YOU believe it. Make the decision to have good self esteem, and remind yourself to work on it. I say, fake it til you make it! That's what I did.
I went a little overboard and I am a tad bit egotistical. But that's ok - I'm awesome. I just wish I could make the women of the world understand that they are wonderful just the way they are. The men too. Stop comparing yourself to other people and work on yourself. I have nothing that other people don't have - except the knowledge that I am great, just the way I am. Take a page from the "Book of Pam" and love yourself - that is always the first step.
As a side note, I played my first game of outdoor soccer for the season last night. I was sooo nervous, but I did great. We won, but best of all, I felt great just being there. Do something for you - you're worth it. (that sounds cheesy as I read it, but it's true, and I can be cheesy if I want to be!)
I have a (very) curvy body, (fat) muscular calves that have a hard time finding shin pads to fit. I have a big butt that I am proud of, I am attractive, I have a belly that held 2 children, and some days it looks like one is still in there. I have wiggly arms, wiggly inner thighs and yet, when I look in the mirror, I see a lovely woman.
I am kind and loving, loyal, determined, I work my ass off at the gym, I run my ass off on the soccer field. I have a husband who adores me and 2 amazing kids that think I am the best Mom in the world.
Those models in the magazines should be comparing themselves to me, and maybe they do. What do they have? Yes they are beautiful, but remember, they are people too. Beauty is their job - does it make them happy? Maybe yes, maybe no. They get pimples, they have bad days, they have hard times in relationships.
Those models that you compare yourself to - they are judged every single day about how they look. I don't have to worry about that. Those models have to watch what they eat, worry if they get a pimple, worry if they gain weight, worry about the next model that is just waiting to take their place. I am not envious of them, that can't be easy.
My life - there's no one that can take my place - my kids and husband will attest to that. I don't care if I gain 5 pounds, I'd rather lose 5, but it won't affect my life either way. I get pimples, I have bad hair days, and I just laugh along with the people like me who make fun of me for it.
You can't compare yourself to anyone else. Take the time to see what you have to offer, what your great qualities are. Tell yourself that you are beautiful and wonderful until YOU believe it. Make the decision to have good self esteem, and remind yourself to work on it. I say, fake it til you make it! That's what I did.
I went a little overboard and I am a tad bit egotistical. But that's ok - I'm awesome. I just wish I could make the women of the world understand that they are wonderful just the way they are. The men too. Stop comparing yourself to other people and work on yourself. I have nothing that other people don't have - except the knowledge that I am great, just the way I am. Take a page from the "Book of Pam" and love yourself - that is always the first step.
As a side note, I played my first game of outdoor soccer for the season last night. I was sooo nervous, but I did great. We won, but best of all, I felt great just being there. Do something for you - you're worth it. (that sounds cheesy as I read it, but it's true, and I can be cheesy if I want to be!)
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Why does it surprise me when my kids surprise me?
Yesterday was a very long day. My son had a soccer game that he and my husband went to, my daughter and I were going to watch a bit before we had to leave for her game. My daughter's coach called and said that he was sick - could I fill in for him? Being the assistant coach and really wanting to coach, I said yes. We had to skip my son's game, we picked up the soccer balls from the coach's house, ran up to the field, which turned out to be the wrong field and got over to the right field just a few minutes before game time.
I am going to skip over the game for now and get on with the rest of the day. My husband showed up for my daughter's game, after the game, he took the kids home so he could go to practice and I left after the game to get to my practice. After my practice, I had a party to go to, showed up all gross and sweaty, hung out for an hour and left to get the family some Chinese food. I got home, we watched "The boy in the Striped Pyjamas" and held my daughter on the couch as she cried her eyes out over the movie. She was horrified by it and understood way too much of what happened. We have told her all about that time of war, so she knew, but that movie just made it very real. I could go on about that, but it makes me cry and I have a different story to tell.
Back to my daughter's game. Her team is new, they haven't had much time together and they have tied one game and lost 2. We have a girl that plays in net, but only for half the game. Another girl volunteered once and was then on deemed the back up goalie, even though she didn't want to be. The other day, my daughter decided, she was going to be in net for yesterday's game. I asked if she was sure, and she was adamant. She's never had a desire to be goalie, so I was a bit surprised. The big shock of the day - she was AMAZING!!! Man that kid can kick a ball! She made at least 15 saves, she did let in 3 goals, but as it was her first time ever in net, I let that slide. She dove for the ball, she challenged and she can kick to ball to the centre line every time! The first time she did a goal kick, everyone on our team, who was on the sideline, including the other assistant coach, their jaws dropped. The assistant coach exclaimed, she's got a kick on her. Yes, yes she does.
My daughter, who has had a full half hour of goalie training, is now the goalie extraordinaire! I really wouldn't have believed it if I had not seen it with my own eyes. It's not that I didn't think she could do it, I just didn't think she wanted to. These kids, they surprise me like that all the time. I am very biased, we all know that I think my kids are amazing, but even I was blown away at how amazing they can be. Why does it surprise me that I am surprised? I should just expect that they will shock me like that from time to time, but I have no idea when they are going to do it. I made some pretty amazing kids!
I guess that this is my Mother's day post, and how fitting. I am so thankful that I have been blessed with such wonderful children. It is my honour to be their Mother, and they make me proud every where they go. They make me look like the best Mother in the world!
Happy Mother's Day!
I am going to skip over the game for now and get on with the rest of the day. My husband showed up for my daughter's game, after the game, he took the kids home so he could go to practice and I left after the game to get to my practice. After my practice, I had a party to go to, showed up all gross and sweaty, hung out for an hour and left to get the family some Chinese food. I got home, we watched "The boy in the Striped Pyjamas" and held my daughter on the couch as she cried her eyes out over the movie. She was horrified by it and understood way too much of what happened. We have told her all about that time of war, so she knew, but that movie just made it very real. I could go on about that, but it makes me cry and I have a different story to tell.
Back to my daughter's game. Her team is new, they haven't had much time together and they have tied one game and lost 2. We have a girl that plays in net, but only for half the game. Another girl volunteered once and was then on deemed the back up goalie, even though she didn't want to be. The other day, my daughter decided, she was going to be in net for yesterday's game. I asked if she was sure, and she was adamant. She's never had a desire to be goalie, so I was a bit surprised. The big shock of the day - she was AMAZING!!! Man that kid can kick a ball! She made at least 15 saves, she did let in 3 goals, but as it was her first time ever in net, I let that slide. She dove for the ball, she challenged and she can kick to ball to the centre line every time! The first time she did a goal kick, everyone on our team, who was on the sideline, including the other assistant coach, their jaws dropped. The assistant coach exclaimed, she's got a kick on her. Yes, yes she does.
My daughter, who has had a full half hour of goalie training, is now the goalie extraordinaire! I really wouldn't have believed it if I had not seen it with my own eyes. It's not that I didn't think she could do it, I just didn't think she wanted to. These kids, they surprise me like that all the time. I am very biased, we all know that I think my kids are amazing, but even I was blown away at how amazing they can be. Why does it surprise me that I am surprised? I should just expect that they will shock me like that from time to time, but I have no idea when they are going to do it. I made some pretty amazing kids!
I guess that this is my Mother's day post, and how fitting. I am so thankful that I have been blessed with such wonderful children. It is my honour to be their Mother, and they make me proud every where they go. They make me look like the best Mother in the world!
Happy Mother's Day!
Thursday, May 3, 2012
2 in one day!
I was out all day delivering brochures for my soccer team to schools in the SW area of Calgary. It was a lot of in and out of the car, and lots of counting! It wasn't that bad though, I got to listen to music all day, saw some new places in the city and was very thankful that my kids go to such a great school. Some of the schools I saw were nice, some were not, and some, the staff were a bit crabby. Not to say that our school is the best - but we do love it.
I also had a lot of time to think today. I like to volunteer my time and I realized one of the reason's why. I really like that feeling that I belong to something, a family, a group of friends, a soccer team. It makes me feel like I am part of something that is bigger than I am. It makes me feels useful, needed and wanted. That's a great feeling.
I didn't always have that feeling growing up, I always felt like I was just on the outside of a lot of things. Now I have my beautiful little family whom I adore, a great group of friends and a soccer team that I really enjoy spending time with. I feel like I found my place in the world. Volunteering for my soccer club and the school just shows me, and other people, that I belong. I know that I am the only one that should matter, but after being on the outside for so long, it feels good to know that other's see me as belonging to something. It's why I wear my soccer jacket every where I go and why I hang out at the school and know most of the kids names. That is also why I hang out with people that feel the same way.
It was a long day though. This week went by really quickly, not like last week, and this day was quick and long all at the same time. I am going to go put my feet up now and relax for a while. I have earned it today!
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