What to do...

Wow, I think I may have to change the blog name from practicalpam, to what the hell am I going to do with my life! It seems to be the trend....what do I want to do...what can I do? I have a job interview this afternoon - I don't really want to work, but I feel like I need to make a change to get out of this rut. Maybe that change will spark something in me and I can decide what I want to be when I grow up.

Do I want to do something with photography, do I want to write, do I want to dance with the Alberta Ballet? Ok that last one is just not going to happen. Besides, I have enough foot problems as it is without adding pointe shoes into the mix!

I know I should be happy and content. I don't HAVE to work, I don't HAVE to do anything I don't want to do. Thanks be to my husband! But that leaves me floundering! I have always done what needs to be done. Now, all that needs to be done is the laundry and the dishes! Is that enough for me? Well let's see, I'm still complaining, so I guess not!

What to do, what to do. Some might envy my position, but being here isn't as grand as I once thought. Left alone with my thoughts, left alone blowing in the wind - it just isn't helping me decide. My biggest problem is I wish someone would come along and say - You should do this, here's how to do it! But then I'd still be incapable of deciding what I "want" to do. I need to find a passion and a way to let that passion out. So until then, I will waffle, and maybe take a job.

Uninspired

I am feeling terribly uninspired lately. I know I've been sick for over a week, well, a week and 2 days to be exact, and maybe that's why I feel so blah. Normally September to me is the start of the new year. A new season, the change of the leaves, new school clothes, excitement, that kind of thing. But this September I just feel drab. I have all sorts of things to look forward to, I just had my 13 year wedding anniversary, off to Vegas in 3 days and things in my life are great. So why do I feel so dumpy? I really hope it's because I am sick, if I feel this way for much longer, I may have to do something serious about it. But what? I am so uninspired, I can't even think of anything that I could do. Sleep? I do that a lot already! I've taken all the over the counter meds that I can get my hands on, I've tried retail therapy. That didn't even end well. I got a bunch of great stuff and then had to sleep all the next day because of it! I feel like I am turning into a whiny man - you know how they are when they get sick. Ok, so I am going to chock it up to being sick. I'll go do stuff and hope this passes soon. Maybe the Vegas sun will save me!

Time flies...

When you are trying to stuff as much fun and activities that you can into a summer. The vacation was amazing, but it always is. Vacation with my little family is the best thing that could ever happen. They are easy to travel with and they are so much fun to be around. We did tons of stuff, saw 4 countries and learned that we all hate crowds quite a bit. This summer has also been filled with trips with my sisters and Mom and all the grand kids. That turned out to be fantastic. My older sister and I and the oldest 3 kids got to do a sky trek and it was so cool. Absolutely terrifying, but so much fun! I just wanted to do it again.

Lots of beach time has been had, bike rides, parks, small road trips. I don't want the summer to end, but I never do.

School starts next week and I am torn. I love summer, but I also crave the routine of school life, well for the kids anyway! I have a long list of home improvements to tackle, and I am looking forward to that. My blog will be updated a whole lot more frequently and maybe it will have some actual content instead of just me yapping about how much I love my life. As a side note, I had a job interview, I had to turn it down, but that was a huge ego boost. I also learned how to head the ball and headed the ball 3 times in one soccer game a few weeks ago!

I look forward to writing more soon!

On hiatus...

I'll be away for the next glorious 3 weeks. I am so happy, the packing is done, but now I have a sore throat. My husband says to take another shot of Mexican D'arist, but I might get drunk if I take one more. The last one helped my tummy be warm, but did nothing for my throat! Anyway - I'll be back with more stories soon to amuse you. As a side note, I played my 4th game and we tied! Great game too! That's it for now, I have to make my last school lunches for this school year, thank goodness, and get my butt to bed!

When you aren't looking...

Strange things happen. I don't really want to work, but I find myself thinking that I'd like to do something that keeps me active in grown up conversations. Something that is for me, as much as a job can be, and something that is interesting. A job offer has come through for me. Right now, being laid off from my job and being on EI, I have a lot of work to do to look for jobs. The jobs out there suck and I don't roll out of bed for less that $20 an hour! But a strange job has opened up that seems to be meant for me. It's 5 days a month, yes, you read that right, 5 days a month. It's not going to pay any bills, but it does pad my pocket with shopping money! I gave them every opportunity to say no, I wouldn't work out. So far, they seem, ok they are, desperate to have me. No one wants this job. Who could work that little? Well I sure could! We'll have to see where this goes, and I am not going to make it obvious to them, but I am really considering this position. It seems right up my alley. I may rejoin the working world again, but it seems, still on my own terms! I love it when things go my way.

Game 2

I had my second official game last night - what a game! I played so much better than I did last game, I had my foot on the ball more times than I can even count. I did a poor play that ended up costing us a goal for the other team, but I'll never make that mistake again. The weather was complete crap, but at least the game didn't get cancelled.
I was really in the game this time - I made a few great moves. I got tackled and went flying to the ground, took a hard ball to the shoulder and a kick to the gut, but man was it worth all that! I really felt like I was doing my part. I also ran my butt off! I can't even imagine not playing soccer now. I really did go into this because of the push from my husband, but I ended up doing it all for me. My husband is now our coach, but it's still all about me! When I am out there, I am not a Mom, or a wife, I am a soccer player. I am an athlete! I feel so alive when I am running full throttle down the field. I am not worried about falling when I run, I'm not even worried about getting hurt. All I care about on that field is playing.
I told my kids that I want them to see me play to see what a person can do. After all that I haven't done in my life, to start playing soccer at 35, that's pretty amazing. I am so proud of myself and I am so happy that I get to keep doing this!
As a side note, there are a few girls on the team that I think could be really good influences for me. It feels so good to be part of something!

Game time!

I had my first official soccer game the other day!!! I was so nervous before the game that I just about puked. I know, very grown up of me. It was a great game, I played almost the full game, I got one shot on net and we tied 1-1. My league is competitive, but in a very friendly way. No one is out there just to win, no one is going to trample you just to get the ball. It was a very friendly game, and it was the best thing I could have asked for as a first timer. I got some helpful tips on my strategy, and I played forward. I was told to hang back, not to even cross the center line, so I didn't. While I was hanging back waiting for stuff to some my way, I was chatting with the other team. I got in a bit of "trouble" as one person told us to get off the field and just go for coffee as we were just chatting so much. Then I was talking with anther girl (from the other team) and she asked how long I'd been playing. I told her it was my first game ever and she game me a hug! That's my kind of game!

The coolest thing ever is that I have my own number, 13, and it is on my very own jersey! My jersey hangs proudly in the laundry room to dry and I get so happy every time I see it. My husband has offered to act as coach when he can, and he and the kids came to see my game. It was very neat to be the one on the field for once. My husband even commented that I run really fast! I loved hearing that. I have another game next week, and I just can't wait to get out there and run my ass of again. There is no better feeling than sprinting down the field with my team. I am just so excited that this has all turned out so well and I am happy to keep playing as long as I can!