Time flies...

When you are trying to stuff as much fun and activities that you can into a summer. The vacation was amazing, but it always is. Vacation with my little family is the best thing that could ever happen. They are easy to travel with and they are so much fun to be around. We did tons of stuff, saw 4 countries and learned that we all hate crowds quite a bit. This summer has also been filled with trips with my sisters and Mom and all the grand kids. That turned out to be fantastic. My older sister and I and the oldest 3 kids got to do a sky trek and it was so cool. Absolutely terrifying, but so much fun! I just wanted to do it again.

Lots of beach time has been had, bike rides, parks, small road trips. I don't want the summer to end, but I never do.

School starts next week and I am torn. I love summer, but I also crave the routine of school life, well for the kids anyway! I have a long list of home improvements to tackle, and I am looking forward to that. My blog will be updated a whole lot more frequently and maybe it will have some actual content instead of just me yapping about how much I love my life. As a side note, I had a job interview, I had to turn it down, but that was a huge ego boost. I also learned how to head the ball and headed the ball 3 times in one soccer game a few weeks ago!

I look forward to writing more soon!

On hiatus...

I'll be away for the next glorious 3 weeks. I am so happy, the packing is done, but now I have a sore throat. My husband says to take another shot of Mexican D'arist, but I might get drunk if I take one more. The last one helped my tummy be warm, but did nothing for my throat! Anyway - I'll be back with more stories soon to amuse you. As a side note, I played my 4th game and we tied! Great game too! That's it for now, I have to make my last school lunches for this school year, thank goodness, and get my butt to bed!

When you aren't looking...

Strange things happen. I don't really want to work, but I find myself thinking that I'd like to do something that keeps me active in grown up conversations. Something that is for me, as much as a job can be, and something that is interesting. A job offer has come through for me. Right now, being laid off from my job and being on EI, I have a lot of work to do to look for jobs. The jobs out there suck and I don't roll out of bed for less that $20 an hour! But a strange job has opened up that seems to be meant for me. It's 5 days a month, yes, you read that right, 5 days a month. It's not going to pay any bills, but it does pad my pocket with shopping money! I gave them every opportunity to say no, I wouldn't work out. So far, they seem, ok they are, desperate to have me. No one wants this job. Who could work that little? Well I sure could! We'll have to see where this goes, and I am not going to make it obvious to them, but I am really considering this position. It seems right up my alley. I may rejoin the working world again, but it seems, still on my own terms! I love it when things go my way.

Game 2

I had my second official game last night - what a game! I played so much better than I did last game, I had my foot on the ball more times than I can even count. I did a poor play that ended up costing us a goal for the other team, but I'll never make that mistake again. The weather was complete crap, but at least the game didn't get cancelled.
I was really in the game this time - I made a few great moves. I got tackled and went flying to the ground, took a hard ball to the shoulder and a kick to the gut, but man was it worth all that! I really felt like I was doing my part. I also ran my butt off! I can't even imagine not playing soccer now. I really did go into this because of the push from my husband, but I ended up doing it all for me. My husband is now our coach, but it's still all about me! When I am out there, I am not a Mom, or a wife, I am a soccer player. I am an athlete! I feel so alive when I am running full throttle down the field. I am not worried about falling when I run, I'm not even worried about getting hurt. All I care about on that field is playing.
I told my kids that I want them to see me play to see what a person can do. After all that I haven't done in my life, to start playing soccer at 35, that's pretty amazing. I am so proud of myself and I am so happy that I get to keep doing this!
As a side note, there are a few girls on the team that I think could be really good influences for me. It feels so good to be part of something!

Game time!

I had my first official soccer game the other day!!! I was so nervous before the game that I just about puked. I know, very grown up of me. It was a great game, I played almost the full game, I got one shot on net and we tied 1-1. My league is competitive, but in a very friendly way. No one is out there just to win, no one is going to trample you just to get the ball. It was a very friendly game, and it was the best thing I could have asked for as a first timer. I got some helpful tips on my strategy, and I played forward. I was told to hang back, not to even cross the center line, so I didn't. While I was hanging back waiting for stuff to some my way, I was chatting with the other team. I got in a bit of "trouble" as one person told us to get off the field and just go for coffee as we were just chatting so much. Then I was talking with anther girl (from the other team) and she asked how long I'd been playing. I told her it was my first game ever and she game me a hug! That's my kind of game!

The coolest thing ever is that I have my own number, 13, and it is on my very own jersey! My jersey hangs proudly in the laundry room to dry and I get so happy every time I see it. My husband has offered to act as coach when he can, and he and the kids came to see my game. It was very neat to be the one on the field for once. My husband even commented that I run really fast! I loved hearing that. I have another game next week, and I just can't wait to get out there and run my ass of again. There is no better feeling than sprinting down the field with my team. I am just so excited that this has all turned out so well and I am happy to keep playing as long as I can!

I got back on the horse

I was truly upset when I was cut from that soccer team. Even though I KNEW I wasn't good enough to be on a premier team, I was still upset. I thought about the whole soccer thing, did I really want it or did I want it because I thought I should do it? But then I realized that I wanted it for me, something to call my own. Something to be part of. So I sent out a bunch of emails to some contacts and I am happy to report that I have found a team! Again. But this is the real thing. I have my card, I'm registered and I have my name on the team roster! I swear that was the most exciting thing! My name, on a team roster. I went to practice with my new team and I just felt so strong, powerful and alive! I ran, I sweated, I kicked, I rolled my ankle and got right back up again. I loved every second of it. It felt right. I can't believe it took me this long to discover sports.
Everyone needs something to belong to, and I hope I have found my place. (Aside from my adoring husband and wonderful kids) Something that is just for me. I can't wait to have my family watch me from the sidelines and cheer me on. And an added bonus...soccer socks go up so high, I never have to worry if I've shaved!!

Rejection sucks

The topic of today is rejection and the fact that it sucks. It doesn't matter what kind of rejection it is, whether it's a friend who isn't as good of a friend as you thought, or being cut from a soccer team that you knew you weren't good enough for anyway. Rejection is what happens when you put your self out there at the mercy of other people. It's so hard to put yourself out there in the first place, but you do it. You do it to join a team, get a job or make new friends. And I tell you, it doesn't get any easier as you get older. In fact, I think it may be even harder.

As a kid, you put yourself out there because it's fun to try new things. You get rejected from time to time, but it's not so bad because there's more stuff to try, more people to talk to. As you get a little older (I'm talking even 8), you realize that it's harder because, at one point, you've probably been rejected and know what it feels like now. Then, you get even older, say 35. You KNOW what it feels like to be rejected and sometimes you feel like you try, you put yourself out there over and over again, and you get rejected, over and over again. It hurts. It makes you angry or want to cry. Why does this keep happening? You feel so low, because you've had the high of that something new that you want, and when it's not there anymore, you come crashing down.

So what do we do? Do we just give up and stick to what you already have? Well you could. But would that be any fun? What about those things that you might be missing if you just tried a few more times? What about that one person, that if you put yourself out to them, they could be a great friend. Or if you try one more to time to a different team, you might just find what you need. So I guess my only option here is to pick myself up, wipe away the tears and try again. As much as it hurts, I have to. I'd hate to think of what I might miss if I don't. And on that note, I'd hate to see what I wouldn't have, if I hadn't tried in the first place.

I think we are all looking for something, we are all scared to do it and we all feel alone sometimes. But isn't that exactly why we should keep trying?