It's a good day for being alive

I went for a walk this morning with 2 very lovely girls, very genuine people and it makes me remember how great it is to be alive. I admit that some days get me down, I struggle with depression, and I've been a bit off the last few days. Nothing major, just that little feeling of sadness creeping in. But all it takes is a walk with friends, a run with my daughter, a great song played really loud, a bowl of ice cream, for me to remember that life is good.

Some times the monotony gets me down and I forget how great life can be. People with depression, even when it's being controlled, always have that feeling of sadness waiting in the back of their mind. Even when life is great and there is nothing to be sad about, that feeling is always there, always threatening to come back. Some days it takes over. Days like today, it doesn't. Some days it just takes a few seconds for the day to be good, a good talk with friends always helps. Even if it's not about you, or anything that you are concerned about, that talk just lifts your spirits enough to keep that sadness at bay.

So today I will do all the things that I was going to do, instead of going back to bed. Today will be a day filled with the usual errands, grocery shopping, going to home depot, getting gas. But because I had that little pick me up before I do all this, the errands will be good and not get me down. That little talk will keep me going long enough for the next pick me up.

I guess I am like an addict, I have to get my fix. This isn't common, don't think that. But when I get in that little rut, where the antidepressants just aren't quite cutting it, I need little things to keep me going until I get back up and don't need a constant reminder that life is great. Usually, I know that life is great, and those "pick me ups" are just reminders, they aren't what keep me going.

Maybe it's the time of year, maybe I need to up my dosage, who knows why the depression threatens me more now. All I know is that things are ok, and I have to remember to look around and appreciate things so that I don't spiral out of control. Wow, I really thought this post would be a bit more positive than it's turned out to be! Maybe I am just tired, that always gets me. I'll have to make a bit more time for me today, go to bed a bit early tonight, and make a plan to something fun just for me this week. That ought to help!