I am kicking a$$!

I did my first 5K this weekend!!!  I had already played a soccer game that afternoon, the whole game as we were short 4 players!  So needless to say I was very tired, the race was a lot harder than I thought it would be because I can run 5K pretty easy.  I am chalking my time up to that, and I have decided that the next time I do a 5K, I will not play soccer a few hours before!

I am very pleased that did it, I finished it, and I even had a nice big finish!  I ran with a group of really great people, and they were so supportive.  The boys and Theresa are runners and had no problems finishing - the other 2 girls have just started running - Robin had back surgery 2 years ago and has lost about 80 pounds since!  Tina has lost about 45 pounds in the last year!  Both girls never understood why I ran, but I think they get it now!  (They both beat my time!)

It was such a great night, we had a lot of fun and I really can't wait to do the next one.  I am a bit sore today, not as sore as I thought I'd be yesterday though.

All my accomplishments are being documented on my "My Coach" from Adidas, and my new Jawbone Up.  I Love these devices!!!  I can't wear the jawbone to play soccer, but I use the My Coach, but I can wear both for runs.  I wear the Up all the time, it tracks my daily movement and my sleep (SOOO important to me, and the reason I bought it) it can also track food, but I'm not doing that yet.

I just love having proof of all the activity that I am doing.  It makes it more real for me, and it makes me want to move even more.

I am down 40 pounds now and I hope to maybe lose about 10 more.  I am not concerned with the number so much as I am concerned about how I am feeling and getting rid of a bit more jiggle!  I really just want to feel good and have more energy to do more things...and stay awake all day!

Finally running my first 5K has really made an impact on me.  I know I can do it, and I know I can make a better time next time.  I am not nervous to do it again, and I can't wait to find another run as soon as I can.  I am missing the next run with those friends due to "scheduling conflicts"!  But I'll find another one, and my husband said that he'd love to join me next time!  Mini date!

I feel great, I am loving all the activities that I normally do and I am excited to add new ones.  We've been playing tennis a lot, I've tried paddle boarding and my husband might even get me on a Windsurf this summer, we'll see!

Looking forward to routine!

It's been a great summer, and I am not wishing it away, but I am looking forward to some sort of routine!  Every day here is different, what time I get up, what I am doing, if we are travelling, going to numerous soccer games, you get the picture.  Anyone that doesn't have a regular full time job knows what I am talking about.  Everyday holds something new and different.  It's not always a good thing.

The house doesn't get cleaned, the laundry is done all the time, but never put away.  The kids have no idea what to do with all the time they have, especially when they have no soccer.

I am not complaining, but I am having a hard time getting my Sh*t together!  Oh wait, that's not new for me is it?  But for me to function without routine, even harder!

The kids are on the countdown to back to school, and I am on the countdown to some me time!  A little bit of shopping, some house cleaning, getting rid of more junk around the house, painting my bedroom....that one has been waiting over a year!

I love having something to look forward to!  I love summer, I love being with the kids.  We always have great adventures, but there is always something that is happening next.  I choose to "look forward" to it, than see the end of summer.  Even little things, checking on my plants in the morning, seeing how well my clematis has grown, checking the mouse traps to see if I have any new "dead friends".  (None for a few days now, and there are no signs of any living mouse activity!)

Today I look forward to maybe getting the laundry put away.  Tomorrow a hike in Canmore.  I feel good, I feel like everything is going well.  I have so many things to look forward to.  Although I didn't get my summer trip to Europe, I look forward to planning the next trip, whatever that may be!

Hello Summer!!

Summer is here, the weather is awesome, and I feel like doing everything and nothing all at once!

Some days I have done a bunch of things, painting, errands, hanging out with the kids, but at the end of the day, I feel like I haven't done enough.  I am going to have to think about each day at the end of the day and see if it feels like it has been a good day.  Then I will make sure that I do similar things that make me feel the same way.

I kind of want to spend the whole day outside, sometimes alone, but sometimes with the kids.  I don't know how to get the kids outside to play though.  They just don't "play" like I did when I was a kid.  I have no idea what I was even doing as a kid, so I can't even help them with ideas.  I think that they should just be creative and do stuff that they think is fun.  At the lake, my son doesn't know what to do with himself without other people.  I don't mind playing in the sand with him sometimes, or going for a swim, but he's got to learn to do these things himself, or go find someone else to play with....himself!  I'm the Mom, I should be able to just hang out if I want to.

I love summer, but it does frustrate me.  Not going to Europe this summer has been a complete bummer, but I think I can manage, as long as I don't think about it too much.

I just wish the kids could just get off their butts and have some fun that doesn't include technology, or being inside all the time.

My greatest accomplishment

I know I am not done yet in life - there will be more accomplishments, but last night I realized I had done what I had set out to do in life.

I was putting the kids to bed and for some reason it finally hit me, my kids are my greatest accomplishment.  Not who they are, how they behave, or what they do in life.  But the fact that I wanted to be so close to my kids, and to have them always know that they are loved.  Wherever they go in life, they carry my love with them.  No matter what happens, no matter what they do, no matter how far away from me they are - they will know that they are loved.  What else could a person really want?

I've always known that I am close with my kids, they've always known that I love them.  But last night, it really became clear that I have achieved something great in my lifetime.

I know that I wasn't put on this earth to be doctor, an inventor, a professor.  I was never meant to be a person who is famous, or written about.  I never did care for any of that anyway.  I just wanted to know what my place was in life, that's all.

I don't need "success" as other people see success.  I wanted the way I feel, a piece of me, to outlive me.  There was something inside of me that needed an outlet, and it is my kids.  I sometimes wonder why it takes me so long to realize these things, and then I guess I know that if it were something I just knew, it might not mean as much.

Not only do my kids get to carry this feeling, this knowledge with them, so do I.  It doesn't matter what I do for the rest of my life, I will always have this.  This feeling, this understanding, that will always be with me, and no one can ever take that away.

My junk is procreating

As I wander about the house, I notice small things that need attention.  The drawer that I shove all my junk that I don't know what to do with, or "will deal with later".  The laundry room that is always in chaos.  My beautiful dining room that has been overtaken by a small aircraft.  The den that has never been clean the entire time we have lived here even though I clean it all the time.  The cupboard that doesn't close because it is too full.  The bathroom tap that runs too hot.  The list goes on forever.

I clean the usual, the bathrooms, do the vacuuming, dust, wipe counters....but the house is never really tidy.  I get rid of junk, I took a whole truckload to Value Village last weekend.  I recycle, I never say no to charities that need household items and unwanted clothing.  So why is there always junk, and more junk?  Is my junk having babies and they just scatter themselves around my house trying not to be noticed?

I'm not even shopping all that much.  I have had to buy all new clothes- sadly mine were all too big.  But I get rid of the big clothes, I don't keep them!

I don't want to get rid of everything, I like a lot of my stuff.  There's plenty to look at in my house.  But all the stuff I don't want, I swear I get rid of it!  Does it come back while I'm not looking???

I found out last night that I had no plans for today, that is exceptionally rare.  I plan to do a lot of little things that will hopefully make a big impact on the house.  I've already cleaned the laundry room and fixed the tap that was too hot.  I did the drawer yesterday while the Telus guys were adding to my TV and internet system.

Some days I feel like an unintentional hoarder.  An unwilling one....maybe.

I do know that I put stuff away, find it a home that works, but it always works itself back to where I don't want it.  I might have to start gluing things down!

First I have to take care of the updating of electronics - they aren't junk, but they sure take up a lot of time.  Hopefully I will make a small impact today, and maybe that will make me feel less like I am falling behind.

Always playing Catch up!

I've been doing a really good job of getting "stuff' done, but it seems never ending!

I've cleaned the den a few times, and it's still not clean.  I did manage to clean my bedroom, including pulling out furniture and vacuuming behind it, and washing walls so that I can paint soon.  No one needs to know that I've had the paint to re-paint that particular room for over a year.  Oh whoops, I guess you all know now.  Oh well.  I did stain the window casings....from the new windows that we got at least 2 years ago.  Yes, it is that bad.

I am so busy doing stuff, that I don't do other stuff, so there's always stuff that needs to be caught up on!  Why can't I just get all this stuff done and start doing things I want to do?  Well, I suppose its because if I didn't get all that "stuff" done, I'd be drowning in stuff.  Clothes that don't fit, broken toys, broken light fixtures, plants that need to be planted, things we don't use anymore.

I'm not even buying new things!  I have lost so much weight that most of my clothes don't fit, but it's not fun to HAVE to buy new clothes!  It's fun to find clothing that I like and pick up on the way, but to go out and search for new jeans and shirts that fit, it's work!

I'm not buying items for around the house either.  I've been donating trunk loads of stuff, and I feel like the house is still too cluttered.  I guess I am at that stage where I know I don't need so much stuff, and I can get rid of it if I don't like it.  Things that other people have bought me, that I never really liked, but kept in case they noticed it in my house - ALL GONE!!!  All the clothes that don't fit me are going all the time.  I have blocked off a hallway in the basement with all the bigger items that need to go - it's that bad!  We are planning to borrow the shop truck this weekend for some outdoor work (goodbye finally to the juniper bushes!) and I think it will get used a lot.  I'm going to load up all the big stuff and get rid of that first!

I feel like I am stalling just typing this.  I have a ton of things to do, but here I am typing away!  Ok, here I go....I'm going to get more stuff to get rid of.  On the agenda today - all the shorts that don't fit me.  I hope I still have some that fit.  If not, I guess I'll just wear my soccer gear!

Hello life!

I finally, FINALLY, have my life back!  For this week anyway.

Monday was a bit of a bust, but I think I got a few things done.  Yesterday the kids were home sick, but I still got stuff done.  Today, I have all day to get stuff done!  I got gas, because my gas light went on.  I normally don't leave it under half a tank, but I guess I was busy.  Then I washed the car in and out.  It looks so nice!

I have to update my devices, and keep going on the den.  One day, this room will be clean all the time! Maybe...

I am hoping to get enough of the den done to go to my room in the basement and get that under control.  Once I have all that stuff done, hopefully I can keep up with it and move on to the next projects!

This weekend I had a soccer tournament - we won bronze!  I played 4 games, the first game on Saturday I had a 10 minute shift!  Normal shifts are 30 seconds to 2 minutes.  I was a bit jello legged after that, but I still played well.

My husband tried to inject some chaos into my life again by wanting to go to Germany this weekend.  Yes, in 4 days.  We really wanted to go to the FC Barcelona vs Bayern Munich game in Munich, but we just can't get tickets.  Ok, we can, but they are $400 and up and we're not sure if we can even trust the ticket site as it is second party.  It would have been amazing!  I guess we'll try again another time.

I'm sure I could have pulled an overseas trip off in 4 days, I really am.  But I don't like last minute things.  I'm not really good at spontaneity.

The fundraiser for the school went well, well enough that I will do it again next year.  Behaviour modification therapy has also gone well.  I've learned a lot and know its time to put all of that into action!  A lot of it is day to day stuff, but there is some work I need to do too.  Making goals, having plans....that might take some time for me to figure out.

Overall I am feeling positive and excited about what is to come.  I am excited to get more crap out of my house.  I am looking forward to getting back to the gym to compliment what I already do in soccer. I am also looking forward to focusing on me for a little while.  What do I want to do, what my goals are, that sort of thing.  I am learning to say no, I am panicking less, I even answer the phone from time to time.  But I usually just hang up on people now.  It feels good!

On Friday, I spent the whole day at home working on my stuff.  After school, the kids asked me how my day was and I got to answer - awesome!  To be honest, it was awesome because not one person bugged me all day!  The phone didn't ring, no one asked me to do anything, and I didn't even get any texts!  It was a great day. (I am not anti social - but I do get to decide how much social interaction I have in a day, and I didn't want any that day!) Ha - behaviour modification in action!