Just another day

On Monday I had my surgery for Basal Cell Carcinoma on my face.  I had a biopsy on this spot in August, they thought they may have missed a bit of it, so they sent me on for further inspection.  Doctor lead to Dermatologist, which lead to Plastic Surgeon.  By the time I got to this surgeon, they were mad that it took so long for me to see them.  I really didn't think it was a big deal, my first cut out resulted in 5 stitches.  I thought I got to them pretty quickly, so you will never hear me complain about our health care system. (It turns out that they removed a 1cm x 1cm chunk, a bit bigger than I expected!)

I wasn't all that concerned going in, but 4 hours and over 20 stitches later, I was a little less calm.  I'm proud of myself for not losing it completely, but I did have a little panic attack during surgery.  I almost didn't cry, but then I was told I couldn't play soccer for a while, and that set me off.

5 days later and I'm doing ok.  I haven't been able to eat much solid food, but I did find some crackers and chocolate that I can fit into my mouth.  Everything else is via straw.  I didn't realize that liquid calories are just not the same as chewed calories, you'd think I'd love being on smoothies, shakes and especially ice cream, but it's just not the same.

A few weeks after my husband had his heart attack, I found out about the cancer.  My daughter put it best - she asked if we could just be done with the problems...please.  I'm sorry sweetie, I know this crap isn't fun, but the alternatives are so much worse.  I really do hope that we are done with this bullshit, we could really use a good year.  Don't get me wrong, we have a great life, I'm just a little tired of having to deal with major events.  The great news is that I am not wearing make-up in this picture, and I think I look pretty decent, aside from the stitches of course!

It's my birthday today - so I will start my 40's cancer free, and I will celebrate with as much ice cream that I can cram in my mouth!

New Year Resolutions

I don't always make New Year Resolutions, but I thought I would try it this year.

The last time I really made a list of goals was in College, and I achieved all of those goals, so I basically thought I was done and didn't need to make new goals.  That, and I didn't know what goals I even wanted.

That has been the struggle for the last few, 10, 15 years.  Then I had kids and all of the ideas of even making goals went out the window, unless you included the goal of getting in a shower at least every other day!

Now, I have decided to think about what it is that I want in life and how I plan to achieve it.  My goals this year are going to be a bit of a small start.  I resolve to be more assertive, I resolve to be more active and be able to zip up my jeans a bit easier.  (I've kind of let that aspect of my life go a bit - I'm still active, still playing soccer, but I've been eating way too many muffins and bowls of ice cream lately!) I resolve to make my kids do their chores more often so I don't have to yell at them.  I resolve to travel more.

That's all I've really got for now.  Not too lofty, I know, but I'll get there.  I'm going to work myself up to way more interesting things...probably.